What did he just say?

I was at the gym with my friend the other day and he kept hounding me, because I didn't really feel like lifting very much. Actually, my lifting strategy is to ask him if that is the most he can possibly do. When I he says yes, then I just put 10 lbs more on. So any way he keeps telling me to quit being lazy. I said, "I can't help it. I'm a pussy. It runs in my family. My mom has a pussy. My sister has a pussy. I am just a pussy. It's my destiny." So he decides to get clever, "What about your dad." I said, "My dad he isn't a pussy he is a dick, but I take after my mom." Then he just starts laughing at me. I got confused, as usual, "What the hell are you laughing at." He said, "You are using all of these words wrong." I thought he knew, but I guess he didn't, "Man I thought you knew I used words wrong. I'm illegitimate. That runs in the family as well, neither one of my parents can read." Let's just say, that the entire conversation destroyed my confidence for the day.