Napoleon Dope-a-mite

Why do people say they like "Napoleon Dynamite" so much? I saw the commercial and I thought, "Wow this is going to be funny." I didn't see the trailer. I saw the commercial. If I had seen the trailer, then I think it would have been enough to let me hone in on the fact that the movie was going to be dry and slow. Picture having sex with a nervous virgin, while you are to drunk to breathe. All of my friends, sans Tom, loved the movie. They say things like it was hilarious. I then immediately ask them, "Why did you like it so much?" They then curtly reply, "Because it was funny." I don't know about you, but I would definitely say that something I found hilarious is funny and almost vice-versa, but I didn't ask them to give me a synonym for hilarious or funny. I asked them why they enjoyed the movie. It is at this point when people say, "I don't know it was just funny." I understand that sometimes you have feelings and you can't explain them, but you know it and I know it, there is usually something down deep that you could blurt out if you want to explain your feelings. In this particular case, I think Viacom did a very good job of marketing the movie to the masses and thus people liked the movie. I think people decided to like it, because people that they know liked it and marketing, but I digress.

Napoleon as a human being is worthless in a sense. I thought people may identify with him, because of his conviction to do what he wants. He doesn't worry about other people's opinions and just does what he feels like doing at the time and this is an admirable trait. Almost everyone has probably felt like the ugly duckling at some time or another and they felt good that this ugly duckling was doing what he wanted to do. However, there is something that I want to point out. I can't prove it, but Napoleon had to be mentally defective. At the risk of offending people, look at the kid. Just recall, The Moon boots, The Afro, The He-Man out the window, The Tater tots in pocket, The drawing of mythical creatures, The interactions with a llama, or The Bicycle Ramp incident and it should be simple to see that he had a problem. If you saw the movie you are probably giggling to yourself right now, because in retrospect you are thinking, "Fuck that’s funny, how stupid do you have to be?" I'm telling you that you have to be at least mildly autistic. I have an aunt with Down syndrome and these are things that she would do. So give yourself a hand for laughing at a handicap that just doesn't know any better. Let's get back to my aunt. She does whatever she feels like, if someone isn’t watching her, without worrying about consequence or judgment, not unlike Napoleon. She may eat a salad and then put the bowl on her head, she may run down an isle in a grocery store and then slide on her stomach like a seal, or she may just eat all of my uncle's cigarettes and bark at the moon. This behavior can be likened to napoleon when dances on the stage. Should we laugh and say, "He's brave and courageous?" Wrong answer, if anything we should alert the authorities for the welfare of the child. No one likes to see handicaps get hurt, except for Hitler. Do you want to be Hitler?

The only people that I mildly respect are Deb and Kip. Deb was an entrepreneur. She had ideas and goals. She wanted to go to collage. She showed signs of embarrassment with the things that she did, but she still did them and that is courage. She did nothing to be ashamed of, other than make some, in my opinion, ugly key chains. Kip on the other hand shouldn't really be respected or idolized, because he didn't do anything on his own, we should be happy for him. We should empathize with his happiness because he found, at least, temporary satisfaction.
I don't think Pedro had anything wrong other than poor social skills and a warped sense of society. The sense of society can be seen when he tries to give presents to people that he wants something from. This depicts a sense of materialism, which I feel, is all to present in modern society.

I am not trying to put myself above anyone, because I know that I suffer from a plethora of social and emotional disorders, like peeing on people to assert dominance and uncontrollable balding. I just had to throw some ideas out there so they weren't playing ball in my head.

Where am I

He sits on a bench in a snowy park trying to dislodge the crumpled paper ball of feelings that he chokes on. Harrowed hands are pressed to his face as he breathes. Heavy swollen eyelids blink slowly like sluggish windshield wipers. The only thing he savors, at the moment, is the instant that his blinking eyes close. When his eyelids touch, the chill in the crisp January air becomes apparent. Closed window shades make a cold frost fresh seal that sparks contrast against the rest of his fevered face. The last several months have been a blur. Jittery fingers crawl through his hair. He has just harvested an unproductive growing season. The only yield has been innumerable visions of half-friends and whole binges. Every image that remains on his mind's retina is tarnished. A bead of sweat trickles down his furrowed forehead as the concentration begins. Behind cool closed eyes memories flicker like a candle perched on the zenith of desert dune amidst a gentle gasp of air in an illuminated Arabian night. Pigeons rocket away from a loping homeless man crossing the other side of the park.This myriad of experience has blended itself into a frozen concoction of thirst that he calls unsatisfying. There is no where to turn, except in a circle. Exhalation forces his mouth subtly open and a tingle scurries through his chest, into his veined neck, and spirals down his spider-web spine as he sees the plume of smoke rise from his mouth. Perhaps his future just abandoned ship. There is no one to talk to, no one to tell, except for himself and the vagrant. A primal realization bubbles to the top of his tar-pitted conscience. His explanation need be targeted at no one. The explanation just needs to leave his body so the confusion can stop and the clarity can occur.