Bite Size

I went to a party with my girlfriend the other night. On the way there, she asked me politely, "Do you think you could tone it down tonight?" I asked, "What are you talking about, tone it down?" She said, "Well sometimes you can be a little hard to swallow." I don't know why I should have to change, "It isn't my fault that I don't come in bite size pieces and it isn't my fault that I have a high sperm count."

The secret to happiness

I work with an Indian woman. She is always bringing in things that smell good, but don't look right. The other day she had this pasty yellow substance in a tupperware dish and I asked her what it was. She quickly replied, "curried spinach." Let the confusion begin. I ask, "Isn't Spinach green?" She answers, "Yes, it is green." I respond, "but that is yellow." She retorts, "that is what happens when you cook it like I do." I started thinking, yellow and blue make green. Spinach is green, but this "cooked" spinach is yellow. This means that Indian people cook the blue out of their food. I guess that is why people say, "You should spice up your life." I bet they are talking about cooking your life in curry, because it will take all of the blue out. Then everyone would live a "blue free" happy life.